Oh I love my 3 year old!

That's what I keep telling myself when I want to pinch his little head off!!!  Today was preschool and he just did not want to cooperate.  He started off by knocking down one of the other kid's block tower - not meaning to be mean - just thinking he was playing - but still!  Then when it was time to clean up the blocks he didn't want to - and he told me that - while throwing blocks in the air.  I put him in time out and then he started screaming - so he got a spanking.  Then when we came back downstairs we were ready to start our first activity.  He didn't want to do the activity and screamed bloody murder when I tried to put him in his chair.  Finally, he saw the other kids doing the activity and agreed to participate.  What do I do?  I can't make him behave.  When he doesn't want to do something he just melts down.  I'm not sure what the best path is but I need to figure it out.  I need to help him figure out how to express his feelings with out losing control and then to cooperate and DO WHAT I WANT HIM TO DO!!!   I sound a little like Carter, don't I!  Oh well, I know this is only a phase.  I pray it is a short one!!  It's a good thing he's cute and sweet - he is sweet.  He and Caleb were so cute today after school. Baby Jacob was asleep in his car seat on the couch and Carter and Caleb just sat there looking at him and giggling.  Carter would gently touch Jacob's foot and his foot would jump and they would laugh.  Then Carter kept saying, "He's a sweet baby, Mommy."   Oh, Carter - if only you were always this sweet!